Home is Your Embrace
by SoonerBrookie
Summary: "My home isn't someplace. It's someone. It's you." When Rachel is told her father has been in an accident she knows there is only place she can go to find the comfort she needs: Home. Two-Shot. Finchel.


She hung up her phone after whispering a soft 'I love you, too' to her Dad, her dark eyes shining with unshed tears. Rachel struggled against the pain in her chest, begging the suffocating panic to go away. It had settled there the moment the words "Daddy's in the hospital" had echoed across her phone, the exhaustion and worry in her father's voice evident despite the distance. She couldn't picture her tall, strong, Daddy lying injured in a hospital bed, machines buzzing and nurses hovering. He belonged in their home singing showtunes with her, in their backyard grilling zucchini, or at his office, helping the people who sought him out for it. She hugged herself, blinking back the tears as she walked blindly to one of NYADA's courtyards, numb to the late January chill seeping through her coat. Her Dad's words, meant to be comforting, kept speeding through her mind. She wished she could jump on the first plane back to Ohio, see for herself that everything was going to be alright.

"Don't cry, Princess. He's fine."

"Just a little accident. No one can say Hiram Berry's not a fighter!"

"He just got out of surgery. They were able to stop the bleeding, honey. I promise."

"I'll have him call you as soon as he's awake."

"No, don't come home, Rachel. I promise, everything will be okay."

Rachel shook her head as she sat down on an iron bench surrounded by dying grass, the cold temperature finally registering in her mind when she felt the sting through her thin tights. She felt so alone as she looked through her phone, lingering on pictures of her fathers. The two of them in her dorm room, acting silly to cheer her up. Singing songs when she had gone home for the Holidays, both of their arms wrapped around their only daughter in a tight hug. Her Daddy cooking in their kitchen back home, stirring pasta in his favorite pot. Another one of him holding out a spoon to someone, a large hand reaching into the frame. His hand. Finn's hand.

Finn.

He was still on her mind every day, even though things were finally getting better between them. They weren't together anymore, but she never doubted that he still loved her, would always love her. He and Santana had moved to the city earlier that month, and things weren't as awkward between them as she thought they would be, especially considering he was still uncomfortable with her friendship with Brody. But no. He was still the same, sweet Finn. Her Finn. The boy who could make her laugh by making one silly face, the boy who knew all of her secrets and ticklish spots… her best friend. Santana had talked him into applying to Adelphi with her when she decided to transfer, tired of Kentucky and the dull everyday of college in the Midwest. Rachel would be lying if she said it hurt that Santana had somehow been able to convince Finn to give the city a shot after he had left after a brief visit, claiming that there wasn't a place for him there, but she was also grateful for her. They may not be together, but he was in the city, she could see him, could hang out with him… She could at least be his friend.

Rachel's teeth worried her bottom lip as she stared down at the picture. Finn. He would want to know about her Daddy. So would Santana and Kurt. She sighed, not yet able to message them, continuing through pictures on her phone. She stopped on her favorite, taken the Hanukkah before last of Finn standing between both of her Dads, his goofy grin making her smile.

"Hey, you okay?" Rachel's head snapped up and she wiped at her cheeks, sniffling as she tried to stop the tears. She smiled sadly up at Brody, nodding, trying to hide her disappointment in seeing blue eyes instead of the warm amber she was looking for.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay," she locked her phone, not wanting to share the picture of Finn with her fathers, "One of my Dads was in an accident. I-I think he's going to be okay but I can't help but feel that I should be there." She looked away as new tears threatened to make their presence known, clutching her iphone like it was the last connection she had to the two amazing men who had raised her.

"Whoa," Brody said, taking a seat on the bench beside her and scooting closer, "It's going to be okay. Didn't you just say he was going to be fine?"

"I guess," Rachel nodded, "but it just makes me feel so far away from them. Things have been better since my friends moved here, you know? But I don't feel like I'm tied to Lima at all anymore. It doesn't… I guess it doesn't feel like home."

"That's not a bad thing, Rachel," Brody said, touching her shoulder lightly, "And from what you've told me about them, I think your Dads would agree with me. You're growing and becoming who you were meant to be. Maybe you're losing that feeling of home for Lima because it's not that anymore. Not home, I mean. Maybe your home has moved from Ohio. It's New York."

Rachel blinked rapidly at him, his words striking a cord deep within her. She glanced at the phone in her hands, biting her lips. That… she guessed that made sense. Her whole life she had thought of New York as her home, even before she had ever even visited, certain she would build her life under the bright lights of Broadway. Maybe Brody was right and that's why she felt so distant from her life in Lima.

But…

Then why did New York not feel like home either?

"That… that could be," she agreed hesitantly, shrugging. She glanced down at her phone when it buzzed again, quickly opening her messages when she saw she had a new text from her father. Her breath hitched when she read his frantic words, her heart plummeting.

**Daddy showing signs of complications. Going back into surgery. Phone dying, will call when we know more. Love you so much.**

She didn't bother to stop Brody when he reached for her phone as it dropped to her lap, panic overwhelming her senses. He swore when he read the text and tightened one arm around her shoulders. Numb, she let him pull her into a hug, pressing her face against his shoulder. Desperate for comfort, any comfort, she wrapped her arms around him as the tears began to rush down her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut as she clutched at his coat, waiting for that feeling of warmth that was supposed to come from a steadying embrace.

She felt his lips brush against her hair, her eyes snapping open as her heart screamed in frustration. Everything about it felt wrong. There was no familiar warmth, none of the automatic soothing she craved, no feeling of being home. His wool coat scratched her cheek, his body felt too firm beneath her arms, _his _arms not quite swallowing her up in the embrace like she needed them to be. The combination of his spicy cologne and lemony moisturizer stung her nose as she shook her head against his shoulder, almost angry. Everything was wrong. She pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself and ignoring him as he brushed her hair out of her face.

"I... I think I need to go home," she said softly, glancing back at the choir building, "I can't do this today."

"Sure," Brody nodded, "Want me to take you back to the loft?"

"Loft?" Rachel asked confused as she stood up, tears still falling freely down her face, "I'm not going there."

"What do you mean you're not going there?" He asked, standing up and reaching for her wrist. She pulled away gently, shaking her head as she checked her phone.

"I just have to go, Brody," she said quietly, fighting the new tears that threatened to overwhelm her, "Thank you so much for trying to cheer me up, for being there, but…" she paused, shrugging.

"You have to go. Where?"

"_**My home isn't someplace. It's someone. It's you."**_

"Home."

Rachel shot him a sad smile before she turned, making a beeline for the busy New York street. She was shaking as she hurried to the subway station, her mind reeling as she got on the train that would take her in the opposite direction of the loft she shared with Kurt. The tears were still threatening to overtake her when she miraculously found a seat, curling up in the tiny spot as the train barreled through the underground, taking her closer to closer to her destination. She dropped her head into one hand as she tried to calm herself down, thankful again that Santana had helped Finn realize that he was wrong, that he could find himself away from Lima.

If she hadn't, where would she be going?

"_I still love you!" She yelled, grabbing his hand to make him stop, "How can you talk about going back to Lima when you just got here?" Finn ran his hands over his face, frustrated. He dropped his hands, gazing down at her. Rachel felt her heart break all over again when she saw his jaw set, recognizing the blaze of determination in his eyes._

"_I love you, Rachel," he said slowly, as if he were thinking about every word that came out of his mouth, "It's like I told you at the loft, I thought about you every single day. All day." He shook his head, his face dark with emotion, "But things… I think things are different now. With you, I mean. You have a new life, Rachel, and I… I'm not sure that I have a place in it."_

"_But you do!" she argued, "You'll always have a place in it."_

"_I don't know that I do." He said sadly, shrugging._

"_If you're talking about Brody, Finn, I can tell you that whatever you think you saw-"_

"_I'm not talking about him."_

_Rachel's heart stopped when Finn interrupted her, his usually sweet voice sounding distant. She shook her head, recognizing the tone. He was pulling away from her, away from them. His voice had been so full of hope and future promises in May, making their separation, no matter how painful, somehow bearable. This…this felt different. She looked down at her new, sleek black pumps, suddenly wishing they were her favorite pair of penny loafers and trying to hide her tears. He heaved a sigh, turning away from her when she glanced back up._

"_Come on," he said quietly, continuing down the path, "Kurt and Blaine will catch up." She nodded, falling in alongside him. They walked along in silence for awhile, the sounds of the city settling between them like a barrier. Rachel racked her brain from something to say, anything that would make him smile, cause him to slip back to the easygoing boy she remembered. The quiet man next to her made her nervous, made her wary of looming goodbyes and uncertain tomorrows._

"_You've changed, Rachel," he said finally, his eyes kind of sad as one corner of his mouth pulled up into a tiny smile, "Grown up, y'know?"_

"_New York Rachel," she said quietly, just relieved that he was speaking to her at all, "That's what Brody called it."_

"_New York Rachel," Finn repeated, "Yeah, I like that. I always knew you were so much bigger than Lima. Now you're proving that. And it's… it's a good thing. I guess I just wasn't expecting things to be so different."_

"_I'm still me," she argued quietly gripping her clutch in front of her._

"_You're a new version of you," Finn countered, "I haven't found that part of me yet."_

"_But you will, Finn. I know you will."_

_He shrugged._

"_Hopefully. Someday, maybe." He glanced at her as they walked, taking a deep breath, "Rachel I think… I think I'm going home tomorrow."_

Rachel was crying again as the train came to a stop, unable to stop the flow of tears that spilled steadily down her cheeks. She thanked God that she hadn't had to switch lines. She wiped her eyes yet again as she pushed through the anxious, busy crowd of the subway, weaving her way to the stairs. She ran up them lightly, blinking for a moment as her eyes adjusted to the natural light. She tightened her coat around her as she hurried down the street, looking for the building. She had only been there twice and never alone, but she was determined to find it. Had to find it.

Had to find _him. _

Her hands were shaking as she hurried down the sidewalk, desperate to catch sight of anything familiar. She ignored people's stares, sure they were only ogling the tears that continued to roll down her cheeks as she rushed past them. Rachel knew she was quickly slipping, losing control over her emotions. She could feel the heavy weight of panic pressing against her chest again, threatening to pull her under as she wandered around the neighborhood. She knew she should have paid attention when she and Kurt had visited, but she had been distracted by her lingering feelings for Finn and the sharp loss of how things had been as she tried to embrace their new friendship.

Rachel and Finn had fallen into an awkward correspondence after he left for Lima, but every text, every short phone call from her friend meant the world to her. He was her tie to Lima, to the small town girl she had been. In September she had jumped head first into becoming "New York Rachel," taking Brody's well-meant words too literally. She thought that meant throwing out everything that had made her so unique, so special back home in order to be a star in the city. Slowly she brought back bits and pieces of her old style, reconciling the old and new Rachel, realizing, thanks to Finn, that both were a part of who she was and who she was becoming. She didn't have to compromise one way or the other.

A heavy red door, the paint peeling pathetically, caught Rachel's eye, breaking her away from thoughts of her and Finn. She heaved a huge sigh of relief when she recognized the building, darting forward as the door swung open. She smiled at the random tenant as he passed her, catching the door before it could close. She stepped through it quickly, leaning against it as she glanced around the dim bottom floor. She took a series of deep breaths, wiping her cheeks. Finally she approached the staircase, ascending them slowly as she struggled to keep her emotions under control. She counted the steps as she made her way to the third floor, hoping she hadn't made a big mistake.

Would she freak him out, showing up panicked and broken at his doorstep? She paused on the third floor landing, gripping the banister as she thought of that possibility. A new pain joined the worry she felt for her father, and she shook her head as she imagined it. Would he turn her away?

No. This was Finn. Her Finn. If nothing else he was her friend. The same sweet boy who had wiped her tears a hundred times before. He had been her rock, the one she turned to for years. There had never been a time, no matter what was there to pull them apart, when she doubted he would run to her if she needed him. Whether they were together, apart, or trying to find a balance as best friends, he would be there for her. Comforted slightly by that thought she walked slowly down the hallway until she found the number she had been looking for. She patted her cheeks and took a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm the panic, worry, and her heart itself which was racing almost painfully in her chest. She reached up and wrapped her knuckles gently against the door, licking her lips as she listened for movement inside. She knocked again, desperately this time, stopping only when she heard footsteps.

"Hang on a sec!" his friendly voice called out from the other side. Rachel dropped her fist as the door swung open, revealing Finn as he was pulling a hoody down over his bare chest. She took several short, shallow breaths as they stared at each other. His dark hair, longer again, was sticking up every which way and he rubbed sleepily at his eye with one hand. She let her eyes fall down his frame, a feeling of longing joining all of the other emotions in her heart as he stood in front of her in jeans and a hoodie. She felt guilty because he had clearly been sleeping, but she needed to see him. Talk to him. Feel his arms around her. He raised an eyebrow as she stared, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Rachel?" he asked, clearly surprised, "Hey. Santana's not here."

"I'm not looking for Santana," she said softly, her strength quickly breaking under his warm, amber gaze. The tears she had been fighting to keep at bay slipped down her cheeks as her face crumbled.

"Rach?" he asked, his hands automatically seeking hers, "What's wrong?" She shook her head at the worry in his voice, taking the two quick steps she needed to throw herself into his arms. She tightened hers around his middle, pressing her face into his chest. She clutched at his old gray hoody the material soft and familiar against her cheek. He tightened one arm around her waist and swept the other behind her knees when her body began to shake with sobs. He lifted her up with ease, cradling her against his body as he shut the door and carried her into the living room. He sat with her on the couch, running his hand through her hair as she curled up in his lap, letting the tears overwhelm her now that she finally could. He was there to catch them.

She felt so safe, so taken care of, as she curled up in his embrace, twisting the front of his hoody in her fists while she cried. He rocked her gently, his hand smoothing over her hair again and again. Even through her tears she was able to appreciate the warmth emanating from him, the way his sweet breath washed over her face as he whispered, soothing her. She lifted her head to press her face into his neck, another sob ripping from her chest. He smelled the same, the exact same, as he always had. As she gasped for breath she inhaled the smell of his Suave body wash mingled with chocolate and something she had never been able to name. She was pretty sure it was just him. Just Finn. It danced around her as he held her and her cries gradually began to slow, comforted by the feeling of being completely surrounded by him. Swallowed up in his arms. He peppered fleeting, barely there kisses across her face, lingering on her nose, her eyelids, and her cheeks as he rocked her. When he asked her again what was wrong, his lips moving against her cheek, her body began to shake with emotion. She licked her lips, rubbing her face against his old hoody as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Daddy," she whispered through the tears, "He- He was in an accident and he was injured pretty badly. He's in surgery, Finn, and I should be there but I can't be." Her voice broke as she buried her face into the hoody, clutching to Finn, desperate to have him closer.

"Oh Rachel," he said softly, pressing a kiss to her temple as she cried, "Baby, I'm so sorry. Your Dad's so strong though, I know he'll pull through this." Rachel hiccupped as she pulled back, gazing up into Finn's warm amber eyes. She tried to ignore the rush of nostalgia when he called her baby; it had been months since he had called her that.

"I don't want to be alone while I wait," she said softly, shaking her head, "I-I couldn't stand it Finn and I-"

"Shhh, Rach," he cooed, kissing her forehead, "You won't have to. You're going to stay right here, okay? We'll wait together, just like this." The awkwardness that had hovered over them since their break-up seemed to dissipate as Finn shifted on the sofa, getting comfortable himself as he continued to hold her close.

"Thank you," Rachel whispered tearfully, resting her head against his chest. For the first time since she got the news about her father's accident she felt her body relax and she sighed as she let it go slack in Finn's strong arms.

"You don't have to thank me, Rachel," he said quietly, gently wiping away the tears on her cheeks, "I'm here for you. Okay? I always have been and I always will be. Nothing… well, nothing will ever change that."

"Promise?" she asked weakly, the exhaustion of that day catching up with her. She fought against the sleep, her eyelids fluttering.

"Yeah, baby," Finn replied, kissing the top of her head, "I promise. You sound so tired, Rach. You can sleep now."

"I need to be awake for Daddy," she murmured into his chest, "I… I don't know what's happening and when Dad calls…"

"We'll hear your phone," he said gently, his fingers reaching between them to unsnap the buttons of her pea coat, his nose brushing against her hairline. He pushed the heavy material off of her shoulders, draping it over the back of the couch. He pressed a kiss to her nose as he reached for her boots, pulling one off and then the other, dropping them to the ground with soft thuds. Rachel wanted to cry for all new reasons as she relaxed again, closing her eyes as he pulled her close, cradling her against his body. It had been so long since she had felt this way, so loved and cared for by another person. Finn was so tender with her, just like no time had passed since the last time he had held her just like this the night after her first disastrous NYADA audition. She could feel a tiny smile pulling up at the corner of her lips as sleep finally dragged her under.


End file.
